Posted by Christina // 4 Replies
I never knew this existed.
Now that I do, I am starting training.
Wait, nevermind. This changed my mind.
Would you ever free dive into an abyss?
Posted by Christina // 8 Replies
Lately, while waiting for my melatonin to kick in, I have been watching old Friends re-runs.
Go ahead and sing with me….”I’ll be there for you” clap, clap, clap, clap.
Every night I think…man I love that kitchen.
Image found here.
This kitchen has taken a lot of heat for being “too busy” and “too cluttered” and “not functional at all”.
But the heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart wants teal base cabinets.
Not to mention the cute ceramic Pickles tub that they filled with utensils…..and the pink mixer. Oh and the would-be-cute-with-different-fabric sink ruffle.
I just love this kitchen, and all the color and chaos.
Isn’t it kind of amazing that this show…and kitchen…were filmed in the nineties. Especially considering some of the trends of today you can find, like the open shelving.
While looking at photos of the apartment and reading debates on whether they could really afford it or not….I stumbled on this at Bien Living.
Interesting to see the layouts of our Friends homes, eh?
I love that Monica’s messy closet has a question mark on it. Not sure if they are being funny since it’s a mass of junk, or if they aren’t true Friends fans.
Speaking of true fans….Tim says this post won’t be complete unless I say the following word. PIVOT.
Holler to my “friends”.
Posted by Christina // 4 Replies
Oh you betcha, Shark Week is huge in this house.
We have been counting down the days since….well yesterday when we saw the ad. We don’t watch much television mmkay.
But it is here, and we must celebrate.
I looked all over the internet for Shark inspiration to help everyone get excited….this is what I found.
The best shark party I have ever seen….seriously how cute are those shark fins. Chris over at Celebrations at Home is a party planning genius. I’m just in love with all of her little details.
Speaking of party details, I am going to try really hard to make this.
It will probably just turn into watermelon mush though, and I’ll tell Tim I was trying to make a “shark attack” melon. Smart girlfriend award right here. Thanks.
And really what is a Shark Week party without ice cube fins? Of course they are in my Amazon cart.
And yes, I will sing “Dun dun, dun dun. dun dun” When I take a drank. Mom, I meant to type “drank”….it’s a gangster thang. “Thang” is too. Ok, I promise I’ll use proper grammar from here on out.
I really want to eat one of these shark cupcakes, like right this second.
Freaking adorable cupcakes. Once again, mine would just look like a tidal wave.
Okay, enough food or I might have to get up and gain five pounds! How about these koozies? Do I have any friends that crochet?
If I do…then I want one of these for Labor Day. That’s the next holiday right? I mean after Shark Week, because that is a holiday in my book.
If you are having a Shark Week party, you should really invite me. Make cute invites, put “Beware of Sharks” signs in your yard, and then make these bad boys.
I will rock those shark hats. Fo’ sho. Opps, sorry mom. Gone gangster again.
Timbo wants to rock this shirt while I rock my shark hat.
I think I will buy it for him, with my fin cubes. He’d look like a rockstar.
Speaking of rockstar, check out this girls nails then check out her pants. Holy awesome.
I will not even attempt that. I do not have the patience.
I will attempt…after my watermelon shark….this plate.
There are a lot of tutorials for making plates and glasses and such. I think you draw on it and then bake it or something. If it doesn’t work out, then I will just die of ink poisoning. Then I’ll suck it up and buy that one.
How adorable is this necklace? Who knew sharks were so sexy.
And last but certainly not least….my kids are so doomed.
Till then…..my dog is so doomed.
Can I just dress everything that is defenseless up in shark costumes?
To top off all of our excitement for Shark Week, the boys from Tanked just finished a shark tank for Tracy Morgan. Soooo now we need our own shark tank, so that every day can be shark day.
Hope everyone is as excited as we are. If you aren’t then reread this post.
Posted by Christina // 4 Replies
As you may remember from this post of yore. We love us some crazy reality stars, my therapist says that has something to do with a “need to feel normal” but I totally disagree. These people make me feel more vanilla than Sarah Lee frosting. I’m a bore next to the TLC freak shows. I’m so far beyond normal next to these guys it’s terrifying. Maybe I should go drink some gasoline.
One of my all-time favorite shows is My Big Fat American Gypsy wedding.
Which by the way is rarely about weddings.
Please understand that I do not sit at home and wait for the new episode…I just DVR It and watch when I am feeling feisty. I do not carry a pocket planner of reality show schedules, but as any good reality addict knows that these things are on repeat like whoa.
I soak these ladies in as much as possible, and keep a notepad by the TV so I can jot down beauty tips.
Wait…WHAT? Bleach on teeth?
Oh yea, possibly my favorite of all of these crazies is Laura. And bleach is her beauty secret.
She uses household bleach on her teeth y’all! In fact she thinks it’s a great bargain. You buy a three dollar bottle of bleach and you can get your teeth whitened-ed and clean your whole house. Wowza.
I thought she was a total loon. Wait, what is the past tense…I still think she’s a loon!
I would like white teeth just as much as the next gal, but I draw the line at using what I clean my toilet with. If we use the laws of Kevin Bacon then that’s like scraping your teeth on your toilet seat. I would, however, totally brush my teeth with bacon. Yummmmm.
Then it happened…bleach fell into my mouth, just kidding. One of my blogging idols, Ashley Hackshaw posted this.
She had been swishing peroxide to whiten her teeth thanks to Pinterest.
I listen to everything she says like it is the word of…well Ashley Hackshaw. So I decided I would gingerly swish my scraped-your-knee-here-I’ll-take-care-of-that juice to add some sparkle to those pearly whites. I mean, it’s apparently on Pinterest which means millions of us are doing it right?
So I tried it.
I’ll spare you a before and after picture, mainly because I am only two days in. But hellllllllo my new best friend Peroxide.
I feel like there are always crazy beauty tricks to try….hence why I let a friend talk me into “threading” my eyebrows. If by threading you mean painfully ripping each one out of it’s root causing my eyes to stream water uncontrollably. Or the time I got a keratin treatment and walked around like a greaseball for three days. And I won’t even get into all the waxing, coloring, scorching our skin, moisturizing the scorched skin and then starting the whole process over in a month. Vicious cycle.
You know what Tim does…..he shaves. Every three days. Pathetic.
Maybe I’ll show him the Gypsy bleach trick to liven up his routine.
Posted by Christina // 9 Replies
This little turd has become a running joke in my life…
I had never watched the show Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC, until I got word of this chittlin….and now I. AM. HOOKED.
I suppose I am more hooked on the ridiculousness of the families than I am the actual show. I mean, just look at these crazies…good thing they had kids instead of cats. Image found here.
Tim and I have even practiced our show-parent skills and decided that if we one day (please-oh-please) have a baby girl, her name will be Gracin something Gray. Because let’s face it, Gracie Gray is pretty much the best pageant name ever. Now go practice your finger-kiss-now-finger-wave-smile-smilebigger-curtsy girl prissy walk, or something like that.
And just because we are total weirdos…here is what my boytoy and I look like as pagent queens. Please tell me how precious our spawn will be in all that glitz.
Now hopefully T won’t think he looks too good like that and leave me for the drag life. Just kidding pumpkinbutt, we know you’d never do that but just in case…I gave you the blue dress.
But here is the breaking news, the meat and potatoes and apparently Mountain Dew of this post…Honey boo boo child now has her own show. Yes indeedy, you heard me right. Image found here.
Now please tell me why I can’t have a reality show? They just give them away these days, and I know I’m funnier than J-Woww. I’m just jealous.
Gotta say, T and I are really looking forward to this disaster. Please don’t disappoint us Honey Boo Boo Child….you don’t want a sad future stage mom now, do you?
I didn’t think so. Now go get all hopped up on Mountain Dew.