Tag Archives: college


Making bonds.....

Posted by Christina // 5 Replies

Not the “get out of jail” kind of bonds.

The kind of bonds you make with family, friends, co-workers, people standing next to you on the metro.  The heart-string bonds.

I got to thinking about bonds because my sister is about to make a whole lot of them by living in the dorms away at school.  I remember the girls I lived with.

Yes this is a shameless attempt to remember my skinnier days.

I have bonds with those girls that I could never have with other girls.  Because we lived together.  They saw me not take showers for days at a time, eat a whole carton of ice cream because a Spongebob marathon was on, they even saw the ugly cry when my favorite shirt got attacked by a dryer.  And the crazy thing is, they remained my friend.  Sure a lot of us aren’t BFF like forever and ever anymore.  But we will always have great memories and funny stories and a bond.

But before you ever knew about girlfriend bonds, you had your family.  Growing up “family bonding” was where it was at, mainly because it meant there was ice cream involved.

Most people, emphasis on most, have strong family bonds.  You live with em, they generally are forced to like you or at least tolerate you.  These bonds are deep and lasting.

I call those my “easy bonds” because although we don’t HAVE to like each other….we always love each other.

But what about the bonds that don’t come easy, the bonds you have to work at.

That’s where I come in.

Not saying everyone likes me…but this is what I have learned observing the most liked people that I have worked with, sororitied with, and lived with.

I will try not to be cliché and give you advice you have heard a million times, because things like eye contact and smiling should be elementary my dahling.

1.  Make eye contact and smile.  For those of you just list reading and skipping my storytelling.

2.  Do not cut people off.  Listen to what they have to say, even if your point is way better.  Definitely do not talk over them, it makes them feel unimportant.  Make them feel like you care about everything they say, which means they are important.

3.  Give them compliments, flattery will get you everywhere.  Kidding, if they aren’t genuine don’t give them.  But odds are, you can think of one genuine compliment.  Make them feel special, even if you just like their burrito they brought for lunch.

4.  Use your manners, if you don’t have them learn them.  Say please and thank you…and mean it.

5.  Say hello, to everyone.  I don’t know when it became custom to look at the floor when you are walking past someone, but stop it for the love of bacon.  You never know who you will make an impression on.

6.  Ask questions, be interested in people and their stories.  You can learn something from every single person you meet.  Steer clear of questions like, “so are you a serial killer” and “how do you get so much lint on your pants” because you might get some info you didn’t want to know.

7.  Go out of your way for people.  Hold doors open, bake treats, help them with projects, do favors often.  Remember the girl that everyone loved because she brought in salted caramel brownies…be that girl.  No time to make a Santa sleigh made out of candy canes, just buy doughnuts.  Hi Ruth, I still loved those salted caramel brownies.

8.  Touch them.  Don’t be a creep okay, but lightly touch their arm or shoulder to make them comfortable.  Don’t blame me if they place harassment charges.

9.  Dress cute.  Sad to say that this matters but boy does it.  You do not need to go and drop your whole salary on clothing.  Find a style and stay true to it.  And brush your hair.  And don’t smell like a foot because no one likes a foot.

10.  Don’t be a hater.  Don’t criticize or put people down.  No one likes the bully, truth.  Don’t gossip unless you fully expect the girl you said “gained 5 pounds” to find out you called her a smelly fat cow with halitosis.  Don’t be mean, easy peasy.

11.  Be happy.  Your attitude is everything, and while the peppy cheerleader can be super annoying…she’s got nothing on Daria the downer.  Normal human beings don’t like being around people who are going to complain all the time.  So check your last 5 facebook statuses, if they are all negative then you better check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.

12.  Find a balance between your confidence and humility.  You are awesome, so keep any insecurities you have at bay…and tell yourself that you are awesome.  Don’t tell yourself you are as awesome as Chuck Norris or some jazz, you gotta keep your feet on planet Earth.  It’s a hard balance to find, and you will always be working on it.  But you know the girl that always needs reassurance, or the girl who thinks she knows everything, or the one who is too shy to talk, or the one who brags non-stop….do you like any of them?  That’s what I thought.

13.  Channel your Jerry Seinfeld.  If you can make them laugh then you will have them in the palm of your hand.  Why?  Revert back to number 11.  Everyone likes to laugh, even really serious people.  Bonus points if you get a belly laugh or snort.  Take pictures if they blow milk out of their nose.  It helps if you don’t take yourself seriously, because you are eventually going to do something dumb….and when you do it is crucial that you laugh it off.

14. Tell the truth yo…be honest with people and keep your promises.  If someone calls you, call them back.  If they ask you out for fried chicken, go.  Keep an open mind, some of the most fun you will have will be in the most unexpected places.  Also, people don’t like liars.  Trust me on that one!

15.  You do not want people to like a phony version of you, because then you will always be putting on a show.  So be yourself, because you are the bomb diggity anyways.  This is the most important tip, because there are some people that you don’t need a bond with….the people you have to change for.  They aren’t worth it so drop them like that 50 pound weight you accidentally picked up at the gym.  Yea, that happened.

Yup, it is that easy.

Now I am really craving some salted caramel brownies…..Ruth are you listening?

Written by Christina and Tim

My baby sister is abandoning me on Thursday.

She is leaving me forever to go off to college, and who knows what kind of trouble she is going to get into.  Everyone knows I am way overprotective, or you should after reading this…so I am a worried mess.

If it was up to me she’d be chained in a library at a dry campus all-girls school, with surveillance from nuns.  Scratch that, because it sounds like the opening scene of some “brown-chicken-brown-cow” flick.

I have tried my best to prepare her for college, being an older sister and all.

Please don’t hate me for that Leika.

But how on earth will she ever survive without me, and my “guidance”

I don’t know either.

So I have made her a little “take care” package.  My way of saying, “please don’t go but if you absolutely have to then you need to be prepared and I can help with that”.

The going-away gift contains all of the things that I never thought about buying but apparently needed once I was on my own.

I also gave her two worded advice, to help her survive.

The best way to make friends is to smell good….truth.

Having snacks is vital.  You make friends by being a junk food dealer, and never go off the deep end out of hunger.

Try not to get sick…..a red, raw nose is never attractive.  Streaming snot will make people avoid you at all costs.

This is more for my sanity.  The girl needs good grades and solid morals, since I had neither.

I also packed a lot of personal surprises in there for her, she loves flamingos.  So I included a flamingo kite, blow up flamingo, and a cookie.  There’s a back scratcher, a cute planner, lots of post-its, and second-hand kitchen utensils.

The best part of this basket….her reactions.


She was a very happy sister.

“When will I fly a kite Christina?”

“Oh my gosh, it’s an edible flamingo!  I can’t eat that!”

“Oh yea, that hits the spot”

“I haven’t had these since summer camp circa 1997”

“Oh man, I love trash liners”

“Now I can be as organized as you”

“We must be a fish family”

Who is excited for kitchen utensils….this girl is.

“Seriously, did dad make you put this in here?”

“Did you steal this from a hotel you cheapo”

*once I told her it was from my Birch Box, I got the reaction above.  Hmmmm. 

“Ummmmm, this is used.  Did you really give me a burnt spatula?”

“A blow up flamingo, where do you find this crap?”

“It’s fine, I’m grateful for all the used and stained stuff.  Except your sheets, that’s not ok”

“Don’t be cheap next time”

“So what are you trying to say with all the smell good stuff”

I’m not trying to say anything Leika….except that’s what they had at the Dollar Store.  I’m sorry about the lint roller, but Scotch tape works just as well.

Even though she made fun of almost everything in the basket, she was very happy to get a bunch of stuff that she hadn’t even thought about.

I think she is ready.

However, I don’t think I am ready for her to be ready.

Can’t I just keep her like this forever….

Best of luck my little Leika.

Written by Christina and Tim