Category Archives: Wanna Chuckle?

08.03.12

Yesterday my boytoy and I were out on the town, he hung back to let me walk through the sliding doors first.  The girl behind the counter – because let’s face it that is our crazy night on the town – said, “what a gentleman”.

It seemed so insignificant, but it hit home like only Yadier Molina can…with a thump.

This post may come off as bragging to some, but it is more of a holla out to all my ladyfriends that you do not have to date jerks.

jerks, boyfriends, dumb, boys, break up, girlfriend, stupid

Don’t get me wrong….I think everyone should sprinkle in a total loser here and there.  It makes you appreciate the future love of your life, and shows you how strong you really are.  But mostly, it just makes for funny stories later.

   

You see, I have a little sister and she is swell.  The first time I have to rush over with ice cream and watch her cry over some butt-face-boy will probably induce some sort of internal bleeding.

               

 I can’t even fathom what that will be like with a daughter.  But that pain is necessary.

As is being single.  We’ve all known a serial monogamist, the person who needs another half like our fishies need that liquid blue stuff they float in.  They jump from relationship to relationship and never discover who they truly are.

   

I learned more about myself in the year I lived by myself than I had in the oh twenty-vague-something years before that.

Heartache and loneliness are necessary evils.  So you can find yourself, love yourself and then share that warm gooey feeling with someone else.  Plus, now you appreciate them because you’ve dated mister I-think-it’s-hilarious-to-fart-in-your-face-in-public-because-I-am-cooler-than-you guy.  Traumatized I tell ya.

Enough of the bad…on to the good.

I am sure most of you are over the cheesy goodness of my ode to Timbo.  I’ll leave it at 20…although I could go on for days.

The moral of this story is that you all deserve a gentleman.

You can all find a gentleman, because they are still out there.  Dating one is awesome, kind of like dating an alien really.  And once you get your hands on one….don’t ever let him go.

To my baby Leika….please don’t ever get your heart-broken.  I don’t want to go to jail.  Smooches.

Written by Christina and Tim
07.27.12

Honey Boo Boo Child

Posted by Christina // 9 Replies

This little turd has become a running joke in my life…

I had never watched the show Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC, until I got word of this chittlin….and now I. AM. HOOKED.

I suppose I am more hooked on the ridiculousness of the families than I am the actual show.  I mean, just look at these crazies…good thing they had kids instead of cats.  Image found here.

 

 Tim and I have even practiced our show-parent skills and decided that if we one day (please-oh-please) have a baby girl, her name will be Gracin something Gray.  Because let’s face it, Gracie Gray is pretty much the best pageant name ever.  Now go practice your finger-kiss-now-finger-wave-smile-smilebigger-curtsy girl prissy walk, or something like that.

And just because we are total weirdos…here is what my boytoy and I look like as pagent queens.  Please tell me how precious our spawn will be in all that glitz.

Now hopefully T won’t think he looks too good like that and leave me for the drag life.  Just kidding pumpkinbutt, we know you’d never do that but just in case…I gave you the blue dress.

But here is the breaking news, the meat and potatoes and apparently Mountain Dew of this post…Honey boo boo child now has her own show.  Yes indeedy, you heard me right.  Image found here.

 

Now please tell me why I can’t have a reality show?  They just give them away these days, and I know I’m funnier than J-Woww.  I’m just jealous.

Gotta say, T and I are really looking forward to this disaster.  Please don’t disappoint us Honey Boo Boo Child….you don’t want a sad future stage mom now, do you?

I didn’t think so.  Now go get all hopped up on Mountain Dew.

Written by Christina and Tim