I am back from Vegas….and I am broke. And sick.
Two weeks before we left my dad came down with a nasty cold, you know the one….gross cough-headache-achy all over-feverish chills-all around disgustingness. For two weeks I evaded it. I bobbed and weaved even when my mom came down with it and Timbo added a sore throat to the mix. I felt victorious.
Then I went to Vegas, and that cold laughed right in my face .
Struck down in my prime.
I toughed it out, and although I couldn’t manage any all-nighters I did keep up with the Vegas Veterans. You know the ones…..sparkly hats-empty pack of cigarettes-fanny packs-totally reasonable shoes.
While there I did some very legitimate research, here is what’s up:
Of the many dealers, bartenders, taxi drivers, servers, street performers, and cops I “formally interviewed” only one was a born-and-raised Vegas kid. So what are all these Vegas natives doing? Do they avoid the tourists and become teachers or do they move to Nebraska on their 18th birthday? Or is there a whole Vegas underworld I should know about?
No one, I repeat no one said they “hang out” on the strip on their downtime. I get it. I don’t like dealing with $9 beers and Stumble McGees either. But then are we “faking” industry nights? Am I not talking to the right people? Is it a gimmick to make me feel like part of the gang….you know a local. With that many people working on one road, do you all know each other. Is it like Cheers? Where is Norm?
Do you think the Chippendales hang out with the Show Girls by the pool?
Taxi drivers can make a real good living off drunk people. Let’s face it, when you are bombed your best friend is the guy who is getting you to Fat Burger faster…..he totally deserves all your Blackjack winnings. Or at least a couple of those escort cards that you collect at every corner.
Most people who visit Vegas act in a way that they would normally deem inappropriate back home. Dresses are shorter, heels are higher, boys walk around with foot-long pink frozen daiquiris….but almost everyday you see a reunion of some sort. What a small-big town, huh? So my question is…how do you explain that pair of thigh high stockings to your frat brothers when you get back home?
If you have an accent, can sing, do magic, throw fire, or tell fortunes….become a bartender. Get rich.
Bartenders would never want to be a Dealer, Taxi drivers couldn’t stand bartending, and Drummers are super cute but none as cute as Timbo.
How many Transformers, Mickey Mouses, and Spongebob characters can you fit in one town? This place rivals Orlando….this seems like a fantastic “children clause” built into Sin City. We can definitely bring the kiddos, they will love drunk Elmo.
On an unrelated note, thanks to getting down with the sickness my flight home was a bust. I always have trouble with my ears. If you have ever sat next to me on a flight I am sorry for the rapid gum chomping, compulsive water sipping, and yawning on repeat. My ears are overly sensitive, and that could be a whole post on its own. for today let’s just say that my ears are still stuck at 38,000 feet.
Completely clogged ears, shooting pains, and a ridiculous equilibrium is all up in my business. I need help folks. How can I get them to pop? I can’t hear a thing. T wants to take me to the hospital but this is about the third time my ears neglected to let loose.
Do you have any tips for helping with those pesky ears while traveling?
Do you think I could get my hands on an astronauts helmet? Or Jay Z headphones?
Next time you fly, get some nose spray. That has been my go to. It opens up the passages or something. After I was in tears a few years ago on the way to spring training the lady next to me had enough and told me this great secret. It helps a lot. As for right now the best advise I can give is to hold your nose and blow.
Do you just spray it before you get on the plane? Yea, I need to do something different. Poor Tim picked me up in hysterics haha
I totally had similar questions and even asked a few myself, during one of my excursions. ‘Locals’ all said they avoid the strip like the plague on their down time. I often wondered what they would do for their sassy vacation? Go to Reno, eh to small.
I have the same sensitive ear problem. Ever since I was a kid. It was torture living in California, mountains and all. I’ve even been in a building where there must have been enormous pressure because EVERY time the door opened my ears would pop. Don’t get me started on uneven-car-window-opening.
Anywho, I’ve considerd doctors too, but afraid they’ll reject for something I consider petty. You know compared to heart attacks and brain surgery. So my solution, if used please go with caution (I ain’t a doctor), is to yank my jaw open quickly and constantly until they unpop. Think of it like chewing gum for Willy Wonkas big arse gum ball. If you get weird glances from people you’re doing it right.
Sorry about the lengthy response, hope it helps.
“Don’t get me started on uneven-car-window-opening” I feel like you know me inside and out! I become such a drama queen when it comes to mountains. Or even large-ish hills haha.
I always have wondered if gettign tubes in my ears would help. There HAS to be soooommmmething that can be done. I feel a little relief knowing I am not the only one with crazy ears. Too bad for my scuba career haha
I hope you feel better soon! And I hope your ears pop!! Google has tons of suggestions for you 🙂 Let us know what ends up working for you because one of my best friends has this issue and we have a trip planned to France next year. Dude is gonna haaate that flight.
Actually that is funny because the first time it ever happened to me (where they just refused to pop) was on a flight home from France! The nice thing is that flight is so long that once his ears are adjusted going up he doesn’t have to worry about it for oh you know like ten hours or something hahaha. I hate when you JUST get them popped and then all the sudden you are heading back down and trying to re-pop them suckers!
You are going to have so much fun! How long are you there for?
I took a hot bath, slept elevated, and took Motrin last night. The thing that seemed to help the most was taking NyQuil at about 1 a.m. when I couldn’t sleep. Then I felt like I finally had some movement. Still pretty clogged up though. I need a miracle haha.
Wow. You’re your own medical experiment!
We’ll be in France about ten days. Ski trip!
Awwwww that will be so FUN!!!! Make sure you take waaayyy too many pictures, I can’t wait to read about it!
I have the same problem when I fly. A lot of pain and they take forever to pop! I don’t have any advice for them to pop now but during a flight I find that ear plugs work really well. I think you can find them at any pharmacy. Although I felt like a dork putting them in on the plane but they worked, I had no pain.
I always try good headphones but I have never tried earplugs haha. Yesterday I was so scared that if I pulled my headphones out my ears would explode that I still had them in almost 4 hours after my flight!!!! You better believe I am trying earplugs next time! I am so relieved that other people have this problem, everyone on my flights always make it look so easy. Do their ears not pop? What the heck?
Thanks for the tip 🙂
I hope they feel better! I remember flights as a kid, and screaming bloody murder ’cause the ears hurt. It blows… I agree with @Ruth- the ear buds really really help. For whatever super technical medically approved reason. Haha. I also do a little eucalyptus, if helps keep everything clear and open. And you smell weird and pretty when you get off the plane. Win win 😉
Eucaluptus huh? Do you just spray a little or use a lotion or what? That sounds very interesting and SOOTHING 🙂 I turn into a stress ball while flying so that would probably be a huge help.
I just use a lotion/ moisturizer. I think it smells more intense than it is… My bf says he can’t smell it at all. Which is good, I am very anti-fumigation of other flyers. Haha. It’s from Bath and Body works, something like stress-reducing aromatherapy…
Interesting….I am on it! I love anything that says “stress relief” haha